Finances...and Fathers

Finances are so important to discuss within a family. I really learned a lot from the booklet "One for the Money". It has a lot of good information in it and counsel we should follow. In class we discussed how parents should share their finances with their children. I had never thought about this but thought it was such a great idea and something I want to implement into my own family. It is important to be careful with our finances, especially lately with the disasters happening. The tsunami in Japan has reminded me again how important it is to be preparing.

On Fathers- I really enjoyed writing the paper and digging deeper inside myself to realize the importance of fathers in everyone's life. A father is so important to a child. He is so important and crucial to be there to run the home. The best example of a father we have is our Father in Heaven. He loves us, is always there for us, is rooting for us, and wants to be desperately and actively involved in our lives.

Communication

I forgot to post this a week ago. I really liked talking about communication in this class because it is something that I have been really working on and getting better at this semester. Communication is so important within a family, especially between a husband and a wife. I think we can develop good communication within our dating relationships, and see if a person matches with you that way or can communicate well with you. One thing I have been trying to be better at is listening and really understanding the other person. I also haven't always been the best at communicating my feelings. My boyfriend has helped me out a lot with this. Every time we are trying to discuss something or I am trying to explain my feelings, he always repeats back to me what I said, and says: "So is this what you mean by this?" At first it really bugged me but now I see it really helps us make sure we are on the same page and that we are understanding each other.

God's Will

This week as we discussed family crisis's. I had many insights from this. How do we deal with them? FAITH, service, and putting your trust in God. Sometimes it seems impossible to get through something. Sometimes I have to take things one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Time heals- sometimes we just have to tell ourselves that we can make it one more day. I know Heavenly Father gives us strength. I know he is aware of what we go through and wants to help us. He wants us to feel His love. We have to put things into perspective-What really matters?

Fidelty in Marriage

I really enjoyed this weeks discussion on fidelity in marriage. I think I liked it so much because I have seen so many failed marriages in my family due to this issue. It's amazing how many different things can contribute to fidelity. Once you are married, your spouse is the most important thing to you. Brother Williams said that this is what we are here to do well on this earth, and if we don't why are we here? We are not as attentive to our marriages as we should be. If we are unkind we can invite infedility. Adam and Eve were created and very dedicated to each other. When we have strong marriages, we are fulfilling why we came here- that is why satan works so hard because if he can ruin a family, it can ruin four to five generations. I thought it was interesting that we talked about how when you are engaged, you say goodbye to your friends. When you get married, you don't talk or be alone with your friends of the opposite sex before. You should set boundaries before marriage about what you want to do when you get married to face these issues. You shouldn't have girls/ guys night out, because it can draw you away from your spouse.

conflict

Does conflict help you out in your marriage? There are many examples that my class members shared today that I thought were really inspiring. Conflicts can bring us closer to God, and in marriage, they can bring them closer to each other and to God. Well then, what are some of those conflicts that happen in marriage? Pornography, infidelity, growing apart, adjusting to children, physical attraction decreasing..ect. There are so many things that couples face. Just talking about kind of makes me feel scared, but I think just like any other thing in life, trials are what really humble us and bring us closer to our Heavenly Father and becoming like Him. The whole point of our lives is to return to God and become more like Him. WE cannot do it without a spouse. We cannot do it without God's help. Why not take a chance on marriage? I'm not saying just go and pick someone out..But if you find the right person and are scared about it, but you know its right, have faith. There is going to be trials and conflicts, but trust in God to help you. I don't think any greater joy comes from having a family and being able to overcome conflicts together.

PPP

Wow! I thought that was the coolest thing we learned in class about dating today. We are told that a date is planned, paid for, and paired off. These correlate with the duties of the father in the proclamation. He is to preside, provide, and protect. I think it is true that you can tell alot about a guy with how he handles a date. I have had both good and bad dates, and I think it is important to experience both of them so you really know what you want. We talked alot about the boys role in dating, but not very much about the girls role. I think its crucial for a girl to be courteous, and not mean. If your date has planned something fun, have a good attitude. Just because a guy asks you out on a date does not mean that he is proposing for marriage. I really think that when dating is done the right way, it is such a blast! I have looked back on all of my experiences and wouldn't have changed anything. Sometimes it seems like a painful experience, especially at byu-idaho, but I really think one day we will look back on it and laugh and smile.

my family culture

I really enjoyed the class discussion today about different cultures and our own family culture. As I thought about my own family culture, one word that popped into my mind was competitive. My family is very competitive with each other. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad. For example, when we play a game, everyone always ends up in a fight. Also, everytime we get together, it is a competition of who looks the best or who has lost the most weight since we have seen each other. This is one part of my family culture that I want to change for my future family. I just want everyone to be able to love each other, and to feel comfortable.

I also thought alot today about joining different cultures. I think everyone has to do this when they get married, even if both people are from America. I also think it is a great learning experience for a person, to get out of their shell and adjust to others. It can be a fun experience if you are open to it and have a good attitude.

boundaries..

One of the assignments I really liked this week was where we had to draw out our family boundaries. This forced me to really think about how my family is. Part of me was sad as to how the boundaries turned out when I drew them. It made me think about my relationships. What can I do to improve them?? Sometimes I think it is hard to get out of your comfort zone to improve your relationships. We get so comfortable with the way that things are. We don't want to change. But change is a good thing. That is what I realized this week as we talked about our family boundaries. Maybe it doesn't relate, but it is how I was inspired to be better. I want to be better for my family now, and for my future family. I also thought about how important our family relationships are in the next life. Shouldn't that be the thing we are working hardest at on this earth? Isn't it the most important thing we can do?

The Ripple

There was a comment made in class that all of these trends we learned about the family have a ripple effect on each other. I had never thought about this before. For example, pre-marital sex can lead to pregnancy, which has an effect on birth rates and births to unmarried woman. These can also lead to divorce or cohabitation. Learning about all of these current trends in the family that are going on in the world made me a little sad. I think it is so important to grow up in a loving home. We know that, "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." I think the trend that scares me the most is divorce. That can have a ripple effect on your family forever. How important it is for us to use our agency wisely and to set examples to others in the world. Its not just important, but its critical.

The Challenge

A few of my FAVORITE things I learned this week:

• The Challenge to BECOME- This is one of my favorite talks and always inspires me to do better. I really think that we underestimate the importance of becoming. It is the most important thing we can do in this life! We talked about in class what we would be asked at the final judgement day. How did we treat our spouses? How did we treat our families? How do we treat the people that are most important to us? This really put me back into perspective of what should be my main focus in life. Sometimes I think I treat other associations better than my family. I really want to be better at showing my love for my family.
  

• I was very touched in class when we talked about someone being a "purifying" influence in their family. I have many friends in my life that I thought were like this, and I am sure many of you are those special people in your family. Brother Williams said, " Those individuals because of their willingness to resist going the flow's posterity will be blessed with opportunities they did not have. Those who were willing to do this, the holes in their souls were filled and they became who they needed to be." I shared this with a friend I have from Mexico, who joined the church even though none of his family did. He continues to be a great example to them and still has hope. It was a neat opportunity to talk to him about his experience of being a "purifying" influence.
  

• Heavenly Father has very carefully crafted our relationships. I know this is true. We need to do our best to keep his commandments, so that we can bring His children into righteous homes.